Balls Hot
If you don't know by now, I'm from a
little town called Seattle. You may have heard of the place - it's
nice. But coming from Seattle, where 11 ½ months of the year has
the city covered in a cool, thick layer of clouds, and the sunshine
we receive is in liquid form (rain), I've never had to become
accustomed to heat of any kind. Sure, the 2 weeks of summer we get
are heavenly and worth the wait, but when the temperature reaches a
whopping 60 degrees, everyone starts running around in shorts and
flip-flops and turning their skin that has been covered for the past
11 ½ months a blistering shade of red. And a Seattle heat wave?
That's about 75 degrees. It's also when everyone who was begging for
summer for the last 11 ½ months starts complaining about the heat
and wishing they would have sprung for an air conditioner.
Before we came to Mexico, we had heard
from other friends and sailors who had spent the summer in the Sea of
Cortez, riding out hurricane season, who warned us that it was going
to be hot. We heard people use some creative descriptions for hot,
some of which I probably shouldn't repeat in mixed company, but
creative to say the least. “It's hot as hell-fire and damnation!”,
“It's so hot you'll melt your brain!”, and my personal favorite
now that we are here and experiencing this place and can fully
understand and appreciate the gravity of it's meaning, “It's balls
hot!” (this last phrase was told to us by a girl, who by the laws
of physics, math, and science, does not personally have a set of
jewels, but she still somehow manages to grasp the full and heavy
weight of it's meaning).
We are currently anchored in a little
bay called Playa el Burro, which is in the larger bay of Bahia
Concepcion on Mexico's Baja Peninsula. In our research, and from
listening to some other sailors, it's been reported that Bahia
Concepcion is one of the most beautiful areas to cruise, and
unfortunately, it's also one of the hottest areas on the Baja during
the summer months.
Since we've been in Mexico for close to
9 months now, my assumption was that we've gotten accustomed to the
heat. We've been in places in southern Mexico with temps in the 90's
and humidity hovering around 90%, where sweat dripped from
everywhere, and I do mean everywhere, and also where I'm sure the
aforementioned phrase originated. We've been in other places here on
the Baja, where 100 plus is the norm. But, the places we've been so
far all had one thing in common - the water. It was always cool and
refreshing. We could jump off of the side of the boat and bask in
the water's glory, cooling our core and forgetting that our brains
were melting just a few moments earlier.
Knowing that Bahia Concepcion is one of
the hottest areas in the Sea, and with the cool water in mind, I
figured this place would be no match for us. We could jump in the
water at any point and come out refreshed.
Here in Playa el Burro, the water under
out boat is a whopping 91 degrees. You read that right – 91
degrees. That's surprisingly not the bad news. Even though 91
degrees feels like jumping into bathwater, it's a lot cooler than the
air temperature here, which makes jumping in the water feel almost
refreshing – almost.
Just so you fully understand what I'm
about to tell you, I'm going to spell this out for you, just to let
the number sink in. The air temperature today was a whopping one
hundred and seventeen degrees. 117!!! Holy crap that's hot! That's
officially balls hot! But the good news is that last night the boat
cooled down to just over 100. Oh wait, that's not good news either.
As I was laying in a pool of sweat last
night, trying my best to sleep, all of the sudden Mexico went from a
place that I couldn't get enough of to a place that I hated. Rage
was setting in. My brain was being cooked and there was nothing I
could do about it. I thought about taking a cold shower to cool off,
but sadly, since it's so hot here, our cold water isn't cold. It's
bathwater warm. We have numerous fans on the boat and a little spray
bottle that we keep in the fridge for a cold water spritzing. The
trick is to strip down, spritz, and then sit next to a fan, but even
that wasn't keeping up with the heat. The spritz and fan trick was
only about 3 seconds of relief.
Brenda and I have always talked about
the possibility that Mexico's summer heat would be unbearable -
mostly for me. She doesn't really have a problem with the heat.
What we have discussed is that if it is too hot and miserable, we
could store the boat and go somewhere cooler, just until summer was
over, and then return to the boat and continue cruising. Last night,
as I sat and stewed in my sweat, I dreamed of all of the places we
could go that were cold. South America was sounding pretty nice.
It's winter down there after all. But, since we are in a place with
no internet or cell service, I couldn't research the places we could
go. No looking up plane tickets, hotels, or things to see – just
stewing. It was one of the few times where we've been off the grid
that I wished my phone worked. Even if I did nothing more than look
at a distant place with snow on the ground, I really wanted my phone
to work.
I guess I should be perfectly clear and
say that there is still hope for me. We are currently in the hottest
area of the Sea of Cortez. In another couple of days, we'll be in
areas that are much more tolerable – with temperatures hovering
around 100, but with ocean water that is much cooler and more
refreshing which all of the sudden makes Mexico great again.
But until we get to those more
tolerable places, I have just a few words of advice for you. If you
happen to find us in Bahia Concepcion and want to drop by for a
visit, you may want to call before you come. Odds are that I'm going
to be buck naked with a spritzer bottle in hand and sitting by a fan.
I'm pretty sure that's something you're not going to want to see.
As you can clearly see, it's hot here. |
When you ask if there is A/C at the local restaurant in Bahia Concepcion, the answer is "yes", and then a bucket of ice water gets sneakily dumped on your head when you aren't looking. Brenda loved it and asked for more. |
Don't worry, I got one too. |
And of course, here's another one of our highly educational videos.
If the link below doesn't work on your device, copy and paste this:
https://youtu.be/P-vQiavOE3c
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