Introspection/Depression

Every year at Shilshole (where we were living in Seattle), there is a mass exodus of boats headed for distant shores. We would wave as the boats and the crew departed and we would say “that will be us someday”. It was always bitter sweet to see our friends and neighbors leave us behind because we knew that we would probably never see these people again, but also we knew that they would be having a great adventure. So here we are...it's our turn and we are on our great adventure.

Before we left Seattle, I would regularly get comments from friends or acquaintances that would tell us we were going to be doing something pretty incredible. Since we have left, I still get emails from friends who tell me that they think this is pretty amazing and they can't believe we have actually pulled it off. We run into people up here who tell us that they could never imagine doing what we are doing and that we have accomplished something great, even if we have only been gone for 6 weeks and only made it a few hundred miles from Seattle.

I am going to tell you something important now. This is pretty great and we do feel extremely lucky that we are able to do this...now here is the important part...we really haven't accomplished anything more than you or anyone else could do. All that we have really done is planned a vacation and left. To me, this doesn't seem like that big of a deal. Especially because of where we have been living for the last 10 years and who we have been living next to. Most of our neighbors have had the same mind set as us, with goals of either summer sailing in the Great White North, or a couple year hiatus that includes sailing to Mexico or a South Pacific destination, or they have already completed a multi-year around the world voyage and have stories that we can only imagine. It's the company you keep that inspires and we have kept pretty great company.

We have had friends and neighbors that have sailed thousands of miles more than us, have visited many more harbors than us, and have much more expertise than us. They have inspired us, they have helped us out countless times, and they have given us more advice than we wanted (there is a saying on the docks that goes something like...if you want to know how to do something, ask 4 sailors and you will get 9 opinions). We have always admired these friends and neighbors and are thrilled that a couple of them are going to be meeting us on their boat up here in the Great White North tomorrow. Again, we keep great company.

I just met a guy who has dreamed of sailing in the Pacific Northwest and the Inside Passage for his whole life. This guy is from France. He sailed all the way here from France. It took him 4 years to get here from France. Did I mention he came from France...and it took him 4 years to get here? That is an accomplishment. I'm not exactly sure if or when we will feel like we have accomplished anything. Maybe when we cross an ocean. Maybe when we get to Mexico and have to speak a foreign language. Maybe never. At this point, it really still feels like we are just on a vacation. I'm not sure if it is because we are still so close to Seattle. Maybe 6 weeks isn't enough time for things to really sink in. I don't really know. We talk about this topic almost daily. Not the “is this an accomplishment” topic, but how this feels like a long vacation and how we are still having a tough time comprehending the fact that we don't have to be anywhere...ever. No time constraints. No place to be. No real obligations other than to care for each other and to keep the boat floating.

If you are already retired and reading this, you may already know what I am talking about. If you are still part of the rat race and spinning your wheels everyday, this may seem like heaven. I'm not going to lie, it is heaven. It's just a difficult concept to grasp for both of us. I was told by some of our retired sailing friends that we may have a hard time adjusting, and we may feel a little bit “lost” for a while...like we lost our identity and that we won't know what we are supposed to do with ourselves. While we don't feel lost and we don't feel like we have lost our identity, we do feel like there is someplace we are supposed to be...the next spot. We haven't really been able to slow down. We are still in the rat race rush. We still feel like we have to see everything there is to see in as short of a time span as possible and then rush to the next spot. I don't know if this is just how we operate, or if we will eventually slow down, or if there is just so much out there to see that we feel like we will never get to it all. Whatever it is, it feels as if we are always on the move, but not quite there.

I have been feeling a little introspective and/or depressed today. This depression/introspection is only because our new pump that pumps out our holding tank appears to have died already and I am not ready for another “storm of epic proportions”. We have barely recovered from the last storm so this has me depressed. I may feel like I have accomplished something great when our pump actually pumps for more than just a couple of weeks. Until that day comes, I am going to drown my sorrows in sunshine, warm water, and good company.