Murphy's Law

Murphy's Law came to be sometime in the 1940's. If I'm not mistaken (which I never am), it all started on the battlefields of WWII. I'm not sure if this law went through all of the phases of our governmental checks and balances that we hold so dear today, or if there was a long heated debate about it on Capitol Hill, with one side being for and one side being against, or if it was possibly one of the few laws that had bipartisan support from both sides of the isle in the last century. Whichever party is responsible for Murphy's Law, they should be held accountable for one of the worst pieces of legislation to ever hit the books.

If you read through the actual bill that made it to the floor and was voted on to become law, you would be amazed at all of the legal mumbo jumbo, side deals, and pork barrel projects that got thrown into the mix. A senator in Georgia got a swing-set for his kids put in at his mother-in-law's house, 18 goldfish in Montana had a stream built in a congressman's front yard, and 30,000 rubber bands were stretched together to make the world's largest rubber band ball road side attraction in Nevada (it was the largest at the time...the current largest rubber band ball is in Lauderhill, Florida and has 700,000 rubber bands, weighs 9,000 pounds, and has a diameter of over 25 feet). All of these projects were in the name of Pork...bringing jobs and money back to these congressmen's home states in the hopes that they would be re-elected (and pork means bacon...I looooooooove bacon).

Even though these 3 congressmen brought big bucks back to their respective state's, they all were one term wonders. The senator with the swing set didn't know that his mother-in-law didn't like his kids and didn't want them running around in her yard, the 18 goldfish all died because the congressman put chlorine in the “stream” (the stream looked an awful lot like a swimming pool and included a high dive), and the rubber band ball just wasn't the tourist attraction that they thought it would be (no one actually went to see it mainly because of the location. 18 miles down a dirt road just outside of East Globe. We've been to East Globe. No one wants to go there...no one). All 3 of those projects were a waste of time and money.

Even though you could say that Murphy's Law is one of the worst laws on the books, there are surprisingly worse one's out there. Like the one in Alaska that says “it is unlawful to wake up a sleeping bear for a photo op.” I think that one should be called suicide. Or the one in Georgia that states “you cannot keep an ice cream cone in your back pocket on Sunday”. That's just stupid because everyone knows you keep an ice cream cone in your front pocket...especially on Sunday. Or one of my personal favorites because it actually makes sense, states that in Iowa “a one armed piano player must perform for free.” Duh.

I hired an attorney to weed through the legal jargon of Murphy's Law just so I would fully understand what is written in the law. I didn't want to misspeak and be held liable for falsely representing a law that our forefathers surely spent lots of time working on. In a nutshell, Murphy's Law says that “if something can go wrong, it will.” In recent years, there has been an amendment to the law that says “it will happen at the worst time.”

I haven't heard any of our presidential candidates talk about repealing Murphy's Law and I haven't heard any of our media asking the tough question of why this law still exists. I'm thinking that a movement needs to happen. A revolution if you will. If you want the law changed, get out and vote. And vote for the candidates that stand for change. Change the status quo. Repeal Murphy's Law! Say it with me...Repeal Murphy's Law!!!

I've tried to keep politics or personal belief's out of this blog, but I could stand for no more. Literally, I could stand no more. Because I fell into a hole and now have a very fashionable walking boot and even more attractive crutches. And thanks to the recent amendment to Murphy's Law, it happened at the worst time.

How did I fall into a hole you ask? Well, the short version is this. There is a hole in our boat where our mast is supposed to be (still no mast). As I was working on the boat, I had an armful of boat parts that I was moving from one spot to the other, and it happened. The hole snuck up on me and I stepped right in the middle of it. I landed on a metal bar smack dab in the middle of the arch of my foot (I was barefoot of course). It was a Murphy's Law sneak attack. And just so we are perfectly clear, I don't like Murphy's Law sneak attacks.

Luckily I didn't break anything, it's just mangled, bruised, swollen, and looks more like a football than a foot. The big problem is that I can't climb the ladder to get into the boat and we still have a ton of stuff that needs to get finished before we set sail for Mexico and beyond. Perfect timing. Thanks Murphy.

The good news is that our mast has officially shipped (I have a tracking number to prove it!!!) and after 6 ½ months of waiting, it should be arriving to us on Monday. I'm hoping that by Monday, I'll be able to hobble around enough to get to work rigging the mast and getting it ready for the crane to hoist it into the boat. If not, Brenda is going to be a busy girl (she has actually been super busy not only getting her list of projects done, but now, carrying my weight as well. She's a trooper).

So that's that. Hopefully by the end of next week our boat will be a sailboat again, with a shiny new mast poking out of the center of it.