New-age-hippy-mumbo-jumbo

The last week has been pretty exciting for us. We really got a lot accomplished. We purchased a new home on wheels and a new SUV to pull our home on wheels. Brenda and Tanya (my sister-in-law) had a big girly road trip adventure to Seattle and had a great time. They camped out, explored a little, had some girly talk, got the things done in Seattle that needed to happen, and came back smelling like they just spent 5 days in a car. I hung out with my brother and their 4 kids, we broke the world land speed record in a Toyota Prius (144 down hill...WOO HOO!!!), drove all around town with the kids in tow, I broke my thumb while playing football with my nephew, and since Tanya and Brenda were on a road trip, we ate some candy and some bacon (not nearly enough of either)...in a nutshell, it was a great week.

We are now back on the road in our new home on wheels and are stopped in Sedona for a few days so we can get our new home organized and see some more of the sites. Sedona is a pretty cool place. They have about 14,000 hiking trails all within a few miles of town, biking trails, rock climbing galore, tons of shops and restaurants, and some pretty amazing scenery. They also have one of my new favorite state parks...Slide Rock State Park. Besides being beautiful, this little gem of a park has some natural stone water-slides that are super fun. There is a little stream that runs through the park that has carved out little smooth channels through the sandstone...and they are just wide enough for my butt to be pushed through by the freezing cold water. On a 90 degree day, it was incredible!!!

Sedona is also known for something else...vortexes. When I was talking to my brother about what to do in the area, he told me about things like Slide Rock State Park, some of the more popular hikes, and some ancient ruins. He also said “watch out for the Vortexes!” “Vortexes??? What are those!?!?!” I said. Then he proceeded to tell me “they are just some new-age-hippy-mumbo-jumbo.”

Since I love me some mumbo-jumbo and I have been known to smell like a new-age-dirty-hippy at times, I thought this is something that I have to see! Since we aren't from around these parts, we go down to the tourism info center in town and ask them about some of the sites in the area (we don't want to come out and say “show me the vortexes!” just in case they are a top secret thing that only my brother knows about). The people at the info center are super nice and helpful and they just so happen to ask us if we are in town to “experience” a vortex (apparently these are a real thing and new-age-hippies come from all over the world to “experience” them). So of course I say “Yes! We are here for the Vortexes!” She gives us a map with “V's” marking the spot of the vortexes and sends us on our way.

Before we go and see these “V's” that are dotting our newly acquired map, I decide that it would be best for us to learn a little bit about this mumbo-jumbo. I don't want to show up to one of these sites and be struck down by lightning because I don't know the protocol of how to experience the “experience”. Off to the mighty internet I go...and I learn absolutely nothing. Sure, I read up on the sites and the words go into my brain but the mumbo-jumbo exits without any sort of meaning being absorbed.  What I get out of my reading is that all things exist in 10 or more dimensions and these vortex sites have energy flows that connect to the deeper dimensions to help your soul soar to higher spiritual connections. What the whaaaat??? Lets just go and see this crap.

We pick one that has a bit of a hike to it because we are pretty sure that it would be better for us to be away from town when the mighty Vortex strikes me down. I don't want collateral damage from the lightning bolt or tornado or whatever it sends my way...and a hike in the back country would be nice. Off we go. Our little hike is about 7 miles long and we are loving the scenery, the warm sun, and seeing stuff that is new to us. We do the loop and when we get back to our car, realize that we missed the Vortex (or did it miss us?). Crap. Oh, well...back to our home on wheels and it's time for the pool and hot tub.

On day 2 we go on hike number 2...a closer to town vortex. This time we pick one that is a bit shorter of a hike because I am sure that when the vortex strikes me down, someone from town may see the mayhem and send someone up to rescue me. It's a great hike in. The sun is out. It's only about 85 degrees out (85 feels pretty cool after 95+ degrees at my brother's house...it's so cool that I am wearing pants instead of shorts...I actually put on a jacket in the morning because it was a chilly 72 degrees...I know, I know, there is no sympathy coming from the Seattle crowd). There are signs marking the trail to the vortex. We can't miss it this time. We hike up the hill to the 2 rock formations that are supposedly our connection to the 10 other dimensions that we can't “experience” without touching the rocks.

Here is where I would like to tell you that we felt an energy flow that opened my eyes to the 10 dimensions that I previously knew nothing about. I would like to tell you that there is something magical about the place. I would like to tell you that my broken thumb was mysteriously healed. I would like to tell you that I now know next weeks' winning lotto numbers. I would like to tell you something incredible...but I can't. All I can tell you was that the view was amazing. We tried meditating, chanting, singing, dancing, we even tried begging and pleading to see these 10 dimensions. But sadly we saw nothing. No tingle in my fingers or toes. Nothing...nada...zip...zilch. We did have a great time in the desert and met an interesting lady from Manitoba who was on the same mission as us and sadly had the same experience as our “experience”. Oh well, it turns out that for us, these vortexes were a bunch of crap...or as my brother says...new-age-hippy-mumbo-jumbo.